Pulse Page 4

Chapter 6

  On the drive back to Omaha, Leo is in my head. Who am I kidding? I cheated on my boyfriend with him and it was just sex to him. I should know better. It was just sex but when I curled up next to him and he held me, that, to me, is something. Or is this girl logic? But one thing is for sure, I still want him. Despite me telling myself that I love and want Jake, deep down inside of me, it has always been Leo. I am a stupid jackass and didn’t realize that until last night. And it was just sex. Not to me, it wasn’t. It is time to end things with Jake. I don’t know how I am going to do this, but I am getting Leo back in my life. It is going to be hard because once you burn a guy, there is usually no turning back for them. But last night said something different. There is a small window of hope. Now, it is my turn to challenge him and make him realizes that he still wants me. I am determined to take control of this situation and show him that he is the one I have been longing for. I just can’t let him get under my skin like he did yesterday morning. It is go time.

  First things first, is coming to clean to Jake. I did the unthinkable, I slept with someone that was not my man. Yes, Leo is not specifically someone else. He is the man that helped me come out of my shell before leaving him for Jake. Jake should be grateful for Leo. He once had a dormant girlfriend. Now, he has an adventurous woman he doesn’t know what to do with. I cheated and that is downright horrible. I don’t regret the anger sex I had with Leo. God, he was fucking out of this world.

  ***

  Today is the day I confess my sins to Jake. Sleeping with Leo was my wake up call. Jake is not my future. He never was. Leo is my future. I just need to convince Leo I am his. I walk into my living room. Jake is sitting on my couch watching an episode of Criminal Minds. Nervous as one can get, I sit down next to him. He doesn’t budge from watching the television show. I grab the remote and turn off the T.V. This catches his attention. Jake turns toward me, looking annoyed with me. He asks, “What’s up?”

  I answer somberly, “I have something I need to tell you.”

  “Okay.”

  “You know how I went to the cabin with the girls this weekend.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, Leo was there.”

  “Your point.”

  My chest sinks in and then rises as I let out a breath. I admit, “I slept with him.”

  Jake doesn’t say anything at first. He just stares at me with no reaction. No look of disgust. No furrowed brows. Just a dead stare.

  I ask, “Can you say something, please?”

  He breaths and nods his head. “I have something I need to tell you too. I have been seeing someone else. I have been wanting to tell you for some time. After our last breakup and seeing how hurt you were, I had no clue how I was going to tell you.”

  “You what?”

  “Paige, I don’t love you like I should. When we got back together, I thought you were what I wanted. I was wrong. I’m in love with her.”

  Tears of joy start to form. I smile, “It’s okay.”

  “I feel like an asshole.”

  “Well, you are. But so am I. I, too, don’t love you like you should be loved. I haven’t for some time.”

  “Leo?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I see,” he pauses, “This is it?”

  “Yep.”

  “Thank you!”

  “For what?”

  “For being honest. I should’ve told you sooner, instead of dragging this out.”

  “Jake, it’s okay. We are both being honest with each other now. That’s all that matters. I want you to be happy.”

  “Thanks. I want you to be happy too.”

  He leans in, giving me a hug, both of us sighing at the same time.

  I am not upset at all with Jake. In ways, part of me felt something was going on. We both were different. The sex was like a boring history class – long and drawn out.

  Before Jake left my apartment, he stated he wasn’t surprised that I had a run-in with Leo. He felt like he has been fighting that demon since we got back together. He knew he wasn’t enough for me. He would never be enough. We both agreed that we were settling with each other and it was time to move on.

  Here’s to closing the final chapter on Jake and Paige.

  ***

  A little while after Jake left, I decide it is best to talk to my sister. I need to tell her about what just happened. I am really not sad about the break-up. I am more disappointed with myself that I cheated on him first. I should’ve told Jake a long time ago how I was feeling, instead of just buying time and waiting for the perfect moment. There is no perfect moment. It is what it is. Time to go forward.

  I reach for my cell to call my sister, Margo. The phone rings for some time before she finally picks up. She answers, “Hello!”

  I say, “Hey. It’s me.”

  “Yeah, I know. Your picture pops up on the screen.”

  I shake my head. My lovely sister pointing out the obvious to me. I ask, “Do you have a minute or more?”

  “Yeah. Everything okay?”

  “Yes. I broke up with Jake.”

  Her tone a notch higher, she enthusiastically says, “You what?”

  “Geez, don’t get too excited that I broke up with Jake.”

  “You know I’m not a fan of Jake. But what the hell happened?”

  I take a deep breath in. “I cheated on him this past weekend.”

  “Paige, what the hell? That is unlike you.”

  “It was with Leo.”

  Margo squeals, “It was? What does that mean?”

  I laugh, “I want Leo back. I’m going to get him back, Leo style.”

  “I’m not comprehending.”

  “Basically, I’m going to cross whatever boundaries it takes to show him that I want him. Like he did to me in the beginning. It is time for me to make up for that mistake I made. I should’ve never let him go.”

  “Agreed. You know it isn’t going to be easy.”

  “I understand that. He’s very angry with me.”

  “Lil sis, what do you expect? He told you he loves you and you chose another man. So stupid. I thought I raised you better than that.”

  “You’re a dork, but I love your honesty. I’m going to get him back.”

  Margo laughs and says, “Go get him, tiger.”

  “Tiger, really?”

  “What do you want me to say? You go girl.”

  We laugh and continue our conversation, but this time it is about my adorable niece, Kinley.

  Once I hang up the phone, I head to the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror.

  Operation get Leo back is in full effect. Now, I need to figure this one out. Soon.

  Chapter 7

  It is just another day at work, except instead of being busy, it is dragging. The Unit is slow, with little to no action. I mean, it is a good thing that it is slow, but there isn’t much to do. The whole hospital has a low patient count. Helping another dietitian is out of the question. So what does that leave me to do? Work on my doctoral research project. My research is some exciting stuff. I mean, for real, it is. I am studying indirect calorimetry of obese patients in the ICU. Do they really need more calories when intubated? It is a question we dietitians struggle with. We want them to lose weight because better outcomes are associated with weight loss. But…here is the disclaimer. Their body is in fight or flight mode, which means they are burning calories at an accelerated rate. The indirect calorimetry will give us providers a good indication of what to provide them with. I am so geeking out over this stuff. Numbers, formula, oxygen expenditure, you name it. I am a trauma queen.

  I did work a little bit on my research project before seeing my last patient for the day. This patient is just another intubated tube fed patient for whom I am just monitoring weight, tolerance, and caloric intake from the feeding. It is pretty simple. I can’t believe I will be getting off at a decent time today. It is truly a rarity. What shall I do with my time? I look at the clock on the computer monitor. It is only 4:30 p
.m. Since I am done for the day, I am out the door.

  After grabbing my belongings from my office, I walk down the hall past the Emergency Department. It hits me. I wonder if Leo is working today. I know he works random hours but I have this feeling he is here. My confidence kicks in and I head down the hallway to the ED corridor. His office is at the end of the corridor. As I creep closer, I see his door is cracked open slightly. I peek through the pencil thin crack. It looks like Leo is reading some kind of medical journal. Here I go. This is my first mission to getting my man back.

  The door creaks as I wrap my leg around the door. Leo curiously looks up.

  Seductively, I say, “Doctor, I’m not feeling so well. I need to be examined.”

  He looks up at me. Annoyed, he answers, “Not now.”

  “But it’s urgent.” I’m not backing down. Persistent is key here.

  “Paige.”

  “You wouldn’t deny a patient appropriate care.”

  He grunts, “Fine. I’ll play along. What brings you in today?”

  “Urgency.”

  “For…”

  “I feel my chest caving in. I…am…breathless.”

  “It sounds like you need a breathing treatment.”

  “I’m needing air.”

  He spins his chair, facing me. “Well, how do you expect me to give you air in my office? This isn’t an examining room.

  “Like this.” I leap toward him, pressing my lips to his. There is no resistance from him. His arms wrap around my waist bringing me on top of him. One of his hands edge its way down to the end of my pencil skirt and slowly makes its way up my skirt to my panties. With one hand, he grabs my lacey underwear and brings them down. My lips peal from his and I look deeply into his intense hazel eyes. I breathe, “I’m ready for you to treat me.”

  “Hike up your skirt and sit on my desk.”

  “Doctors order.”

  He grins, “Doctors order.”

  I get off of him and do as I am told. He gets up from his chair and shuts the door to his office. I didn’t realize the damn door is wide open for all to see. Honestly, I don’t care. If he wants to keep the door open, I would not mind. Whatever I have to do to get him back. If that means being a freak and letting everybody see, then so be it.

  He struts toward me. His eyes burning with heat. We look into each other’s eyes, ready to devour one another. My hands reach for the drawstring on his baby blue scrubs. I undo them. They fall to the floor, leaving his fully erect cock trying to escape his boxer briefs. Next up, pushing his boxers down and freeing his dick that I can’t wait to have inserted into me. My right hand wraps around his cock, giving it a few pumps. He moans, “Fuck, Paige.”

  “I’m ready for my full body examination.”

  “I don’t have any gloves to protect ourselves.”

  “I don’t care. Just don’t release in me.”

  He grins, “Time to check you out. I’m going to warn you. This might hurt a little.”

  Before I could respond, he slams his cock instead of me. My legs wrap around him tightly, not wanting to break the seal. He fists my hair and tugs, bringing my head back. His mouth sucks my neck like a melting popsicle. Wet, sticky and all over the place. Whimpers escape me as he drives hard into me, already hitting my special spot, his spot. I moan, “Yes.”

  He groans as he jackhammers me. I start to spiral out of control with each pound of his hips into mine, ignoring the feeling of my ass burning on the edge of the desk. I scream, “Right there. Oh my God, Leo. Oh my God. Don’t stop.”

  Thrusting more, goosebumps prickle up from under his skin. He is close, very close. He moans, “Damn it, Paige. Your pussy is so wet and tight. I’m about to lose it.”

  Bracing myself around him, I mimic his hip action, feeling his girth going deeper. I explode, “Leooo…”

  I lock my legs tighter, wanting to feel every bit of him as I unfold. He moans, “I need to pull out.”

  “Don’t stop. I’m on the pill. Just fuck me.”

  He grunts as he releases in me. Our bodies fall limp against one another, leaving us breathless. Wow. He literally just made me completely fall apart.

  Leo slides out of me, removing himself from me. He bends down to grab my panties from the floor and throws them at me.

  Still breathing hard, I joke, “You cured me.”

  He grabs a few Kleenex’s from on top of his desk and cleans himself up before bringing his scrubs back up. He wasn’t saying much. It was odd. I hop off the desk and push my skirt down. I try to straighten my mangled blouse. Leo sits back down in his office chair and comments, “You know this is nothing.”

  Well, that stings but I should’ve expected that.

  “It doesn’t have to be.”

  “Paige, I will not be your backup.”

  What the…

  “You’ve never been my backup.”

  “You’re lonely since your man left.”

  “Excuse me.”

  “Paige, I appreciate the good fuck but you need to leave.”

  “You are being an ass.”

  “Well, you are acting like a hoe.”

  I raise my hand causing it to come in to contact with his scruffy face. I complain, “What the hell is your problem?”

  “You. You think it’s so easy. Now that you’re single, you think I’m going to pursue you. You and I will not happen,” he says sternly.

  “Ugh. Well, we just fucked. I would say that is something.”

  “Yeah, all it was just sex. Now, move along.”

  “This is not the last of us. It will never be.”

  “Okay, bye, Paige. Please shut the door when you leave. I have work I need to do.”

  Trying my hardest not to break down and cry in front of him, my girl emotions are in overdrive. I’m pissed and hurt. He discarded me like I am some cheap piece of ass. Well, I will show him. I know I fucked up royally choosing Jake over him. But mistakes are easily made. It is important to learn from them. I now know that Leo is who I truly want and need to be with. The chemistry is there. It has never left, no matter how hard he fights it. But it is breaking that barrier that I created between us. I know he still has feelings for me. Otherwise, sex would not be so easy. Yes, I know men won’t pass up the opportunity to have sex with a beautiful woman but this is different. Sex between us is off the chart. There are raw emotions, anger and so much want that we don’t know how to handle it. I need to win him back on a different level. Show him that he is what my heart desires. I am what his heart needs. This is more than us fucking our brains out. I need to show him outside the bedroom. But how?

  Chapter 8

  The rest of the week is a complete bore and nothing else has really happened. I have not seen or even tried to contact Leo. My head is occupied with thoughts of him grinding me on his desk. So much that I even dream of it. Thank God for a girl’s night. I am in dire need of hanging with my friends. So much has happened since that night at the cabin. I haven’t told Del, Karrie or Brit about seeing Leo the other day. Plus, after we all left the cabin, I haven’t seen Del. She extended her vacation to spend some much needed time with Greg. Basically, them trying to figure out what they are going to do, to marry or not to marry. We all know what the obvious answer should be, but she needs to figure that out on her own.

  I arrive at Del and Greg’s home. This is a good sign. She is still here. I park my Accord and Brit pulls up behind me. We walk to the front door of Greg and Del’s Victorian-style home together in Midtown Omaha. It is an older two-story brick house that is absolutely stunning and well cared for. I believe it was built in the 1920’s. Del opens the door with a big smile on her face. I love seeing that smile on her face. It is a good sign. Del and Greg have had their ups and down but they are truly meant for each other.

  Del leads Brit and me to the dinner table where Cabernet wine is patiently waiting for us. Unfortunately, Karrie could not come tonight. Mommy duties with her sweet pea. Del is acting overly excited, like a child getting a new
toy. Brit laughs, “What is up with you this evening?”

  She smiles and takes a deep breath in before she comments, “I have some exciting news.”

  I ask, “Is it what I think it is?”

  Brit excitedly asks, “Is it?”

  Del sticks out her left hand to show a three-carat princess cut diamond on her ring finger. She screams, “I said yes.”

  Brit and I look at each other, happy but a little confused. I know we both were feeling she would be a fool to let him go.

  Brit requests, “How? When?”

  Del smiles from ear to ear. “Well, after everybody left the cabin. You know I called in the next few days after that. Greg and I just spent some much needed alone time at the cabin.”

  I order, “And…”

  Del giggles, “After some fighting, both of us crying, talking it out, finding ourselves with each other, we made up and had the best sex I have ever had.”

  Brit interrupts, “We get that you have great sex but when did you change your mind about marriage.”

  Del starts to cry. “Greg loves me. All he wants to do is be there for me and make me happy. The night I said yes, he got down on his knees and lifted up my shirt. I had no clue what he was about to do. He kissed my scar and said he wished he was the father of my first baby because he would be alive and we would be one happy family. Ladies, I lost it. I kneeled down and came face to face with him and said yes.”

  At this moment, both Brit and I have tears streaming down our cheeks. Brit being the big softy and hopeless romantic, she cries, “You found real love. You deserve it.”

  Del smiles, “And so do you ladies.” She wipes the tears from her eyes. “Okay bitches, enough of this girly shit, what is going on? Especially you, missy.” Looking directly at me.

  “What do you want to know?”

  Brit laughs, “You have been glowing at work. And we all know you broke up with Jake. It has to be a certain doctor that is making you glow.”

  Resting her elbow on the table, Del leans in with her fist under her chin waiting for all the juicy details. She demands, “Spill it.”