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  I laugh, “There is really not much to explain. He hates me. Yet, he is giving me the best sex I have ever had. But he is so angry.”

  Del comments, “More like he is hurting.”

  I look down. “I know. I fucked things up.”

  Brit agrees, “Yeah, you did.”

  I give her a snarky look. “Thanks, Brit.”

  Her hands go up in the air. “What? It’s true.”

  Del interrupts before my defense mechanism kicks in. “What’s your next step? There is no denying he still finds you sexually attractive. What about emotionally attractive? How are you going to get that back?”

  I sigh, “That is where I am throwing a blank. I’m pretty sure talking about what happened is out of the question. The times we have hooked up, he takes his anger out on me. Then he low balls me. Like he is purposely wanting to hurt me. He called me a hoe the other day.”

  Del starts to laugh, “I would say so. Hoe coming from another hoe. That is some funny shit.”

  Brit hits Del. “Stop it.”

  I ask, “Any ideas on what to do?”

  Del comments, “I don’t have any idea what to say to help you, but what I do know is it has to be all you with no help. Leo is smart and will know if it is not genuine.”

  I sigh, “I know.” I grab my glass of wine and bring it to my lips for a much-deserved sip. This conversation is not getting me anywhere. Time to change the subject. I look at Del, “When is the wedding date?”

  Del squeals as she starts to go in detail about her soon to be wedding. And when I say soon, it is in three months. In true Del fashion, there is no waiting and she wants an elaborate Vegas-style wedding. She basically told Brit and me that she wants a Vegas bachelorette party, wedding ceremony and clubbing it up for her reception. I am pretty sure there will be some minor changes because her parents won’t like the clubbing idea. However, I am excited for Del. Vegas in three months.

  ***

  Sitting around the dinner table, us girls drinking wine and just chatting over fancy schmancy cheese. We are having a superb time discussing Del’s upcoming wedding and work when Greg comes barging in all upset. Del ask what is going on?

  Greg complains, “The speaker for my mom’s charity auction backed out and the event is next week. We don’t know what to do.”

  Del sympathizes, “Oh, babe. I’m sorry. You can’t find anybody to replace the speaker.”

  Greg runs his hand through his dirty blonde hair. “Not on this short of notice. Not everybody is openly interested in speaking about their grief.”

  Intrigued by the word “grief”, I interrupt, “What is the event for?”

  Greg looks at me. “My mother runs a nonprofit organization that supports grieving widows. It is called the Harrison project. My mom started it after my grandmother committed suicide after my grandfather passed away. She had a lonely heart and no one to talk to. My mother was raised by her aunt and uncle.”

  A sharp pain hits the side of my stomach in shock to hear that Leo’s mother is an orphan. Her father too died at a young age and no one was there for her mother, so she took her own life. My heart aches with sadness. Sorrow boils within me, as I think of my own mother and how she was after my father died. Oh my goodness, I don’t know what I would have done if my mother completely shut us out and killed herself. She was an absolute wreck after my father passed. I can’t imagine the pain that Gwendolyn went through. I start to tear up.

  I speak up. “My mother could do it.”

  Greg questions, “Your mother?”

  Del beams with thrill, and says, “Her mother would be perfect. Paige, do you think she would be up for it?”

  I answer, “I believe so. I would have to ask.”

  A dumbfounded Greg asks, “Am I missing something here? Why would your mother be the perfect speaker?”

  Del chuckles, “She wrote a book about how she grieved the loss of her husband through exploring the world through cuisines.”

  Greg again, “What? That is interesting and would work. Do you think she would?”

  Grinning, I say, “I would have to call her and ask but I am for certain she would. I have dinner with her tomorrow night but I will be needing a little more information about the fundraiser. She is going to ask a lot of questions.”

  Greg’s face turns from somber to enlightenment. “Oh okay. Well, you can talk to my mom. She is better about explaining this event than I am.”

  Here it is. Talking with Gwendolyn Andersen, Leo’s overbearing mother, should be quite interesting. She has to have known what I did to her son. I watch as Greg writes his mother’s number on a piece of paper and says he will let his mother know that I would be calling her.

  Freaking great!

  Chapter 9

  Tonight, I am having dinner with my mother and her boyfriend. The plan is to enjoy dinner and ask my mom to do me a huge favor in speaking at Leo’s mother’s fundraiser. It would mean a lot to Leo’s mother, if I stepped up and helped. I need to earn my way back into not only Leo’s heart but his mother’s as well. Call this redemption at its finest. Besides that, my mother really does have an inspirational story and she could help others out. My mother and I have had our ups and many downs but I love her. We are in such a good place now. My mom is home.

  My mother moved back to Omaha after meeting Ricardo in Spain a year ago. It isn’t like she replaced my father, she just found someone to make her happy like he once did. He is a world-renowned chef that decided he wanted to retire when he met my mother. I had no idea they have been traveling together for the last year. My mom is, for the most part, an open book but, this, she kept under wraps. Maybe it was because she didn’t want to upset us. But when she brought him back to Omaha to meet us, Margo and I both saw the connection, admiration, and love they had for each other. My mom was herself again. This is something both Margo and I missed greatly. Now, Ricardo and my mother are enjoying retirement and being grandparents.

  When I walk into my mother’s massive ranch-style house on several acres just on the outskirts of town, I hear Spanish folk music blaring from the kitchen. Laughter is mixed in with music. My mother’s exuberant giggles are contagious. I laugh at her happiness. I walk in and say, “I’m here.”

  My mother’s voice soars, “Mi amor.” She comes to me with open arms. Her arms embrace me. She kisses me on the cheek. Ricardo is standing at the kitchen island cutting up some vegetables.

  I smile, “Hi, Mom.” I look to Ricardo. “Hey, Ricky.” He lets me call him Ricky. I have a thing for giving people nicknames lately. I don’t understand why, I just do. Thank goodness he embraces it with an open mind.

  The aroma of spices mixed with oils and garlic fills the kitchen. My stomach instantly grumbles in hunger. I sit down at the gray and white sparkle granite counter top that is the kitchen island. I take another deep breath in. Ricardo chuckles at my silly behavior. In his Spanish accent, he asks, “How you’re doing today, love?”

  I smirk, “Doing good. But I will be better once I get whatever you are making in my belly. What are you making? It smells superb.”

  He grins, “It’s surprise, my dear.”

  I pretend pout, “Boo.”

  Both my mother and Ricardo laugh at me. I get up from my seat and head to the fridge to grab a beer. I love how they are beer drinkers instead of wine drinkers. Ricardo stocks the fridge with many different varieties of beer, from local craft beer to Spanish beer. I grab myself La Socarrada from Valencia, Spain. The taste of rosemary-honey infused double fermented ale soothes my throat as I drink it. Super yummy. Ricardo not only brought happiness to my mother but he brought back some fantastic beer to make me happy.

  ***

  Ricardo can cook. This is quite obvious. He is a very smart chef. He pairs some of his craft beer selection with charred steak, thyme rosemary sweet potatoes, and grilled vegetable skewers. It is to die for. My mother being my mother, she asks, “How are you doing, honey?

  I answer, “I’m doing well.”

/>   “Honey, I mean since the break-up. I haven’t checked in with you for some time. Margo says you’re doing great. But I wanted to make sure.”

  “Thanks, Mom. I am doing great. I’m happy.”

  “But…”

  Got to love mother’s instincts. She knows something else is up with me. I am just grateful she isn’t distraught about my break up with Jake this time. She thought we were the perfect business pair. It is weird she has done a 180. But I will take it as it is.

  I answer, “Kind of. Okay, yes. It is Leo.”

  I watch as my mother tries to remember who Leo was. “Oh, the doctor.”

  “Yes, Mom, the doctor.”

  “What’s up with that?”

  “It’s complicated.”

  “Oh, I see. I’m sorry to hear that, honey.”

  “It’s okay. It will work itself out.”

  My mother grabs my hand and squeezes. “I have a good feeling about it.”

  I have no clue what she means by that. Is she tapping into some psychic powers? I know my mother is different, but not like this. I need to change the subject to another reason why I am here. Yes, dinner with my mother and her boyfriend is the real reason but there is an ulterior motive. If I could get my mother to agree to speak at Leo’s mother’s fundraiser, this could be good for everyone involved. My mother knows grieve, unfortunately. The only thing about bringing this up to my mother is that I have not spoken with Gwendolyn Andresen. I am just going to go ahead and ask my mother and see what happens.

  I look at my mother and smile, “Hey, Mom, can I ask a favor from you?”

  She takes a sip of beer. “Sure, honey.”

  “It’s about Leo’s mother.”

  “Okay…”

  “His mother runs the Harrison project. It’s a program for grieving widows. She raises money to help pay for that program that will help those who are grieving.”

  “Go on.”

  I inhale and then exhale. “She had a speaker back out last minute and they are looking for a speaker to present at their charity auction. I suggested to Leo’s brother Greg about you speaking. Del agreed it would be a good idea. So…would you?”

  She sits still for a minute before she speaks. “I would be delighted to.”

  I perk up as if I had a double shot of espresso. “Really?”

  “Anything to help those who have suffered like I have. But most importantly, I know it is important for Leo and you. Tell his mother, I am in.”

  “Thank you, Mom.” I get up from my seat and head toward where my mother is sitting across the table. I lean in to hug her. Seeing how far she has come since my father passed is truly remarkable. She is able to follow a dream but remember my father at the same time. She dedicated her book to my father. I choke up just thinking about it.

  After I release my mother from my hold, I wipe the tears from my eyes. I look at Ricardo. He smiles with sincerity.

  ***

  Before leaving for the night, I attempt to call Gwendolyn again. I am a ball of nerves, despite my mother agreeing to talk at the fundraiser. The phone continues to ring over and over again. She isn’t going to pick up this time. It is like she knows it is me calling.

  I am about to end the call, when she finally picks up. She answers, “This is Gwen.”

  “I, uh, this is Paige,” I stutter.

  Dead Air.

  Nothing.

  Yep, I stunned her into complete silence.

  She finally responds, “How can I help you, Paige?” Her tone cold and harsh.

  “Greg gave me your number to talk with you about coordinating a speaker for your charity event.”

  “Go on.”

  “I suggested my mother. She is a published author. Her book discusses how traveling the world through cuisine helped heal a broken heart.”

  “You know this event is for grieving family members.”

  “Yes, I understand that. My father passed away a few years ago. This book is how she grieved her loss.”

  “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that.”

  “Thank you. She is a great speaker and she would love to do this for you.”

  Her voice lightens up. “By any chance, is your mother Persephone Dawson?”

  Stunned that she already knew who my mother is. I ask, “How do you know my mother?”

  “My lovely son, Greg, advised me to look her up. He thought she would be a great fit to speak at this event, if we could get her. Thank you for making this a lot easier.”

  “I’m happy to. I appreciate you starting this organization.”

  “It is very important to me, to help others not suffer like my mother did.”

  I tear up thinking of my mother and how she handled my father dying. Then to imagine what Gwen went through, losing both of her parents. I could not imagine losing both. If it wasn’t for my mother’s quirky ways and wanting to travel the world, she might have gone into a deep depression.

  I give Gwendolyn my mother’s contact information. She is elated with my helping, despite what happened between Leo and me. She states it is important that I attend this event as well. I answer, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

  I pause before saying goodbye. There is one more thing I want to ask her. It is going to take a lot of balls to ask this question. But I need to. It is one more step toward getting what I want. Well, who I want. I hesitate, “Gwendolyn.”

  She answers, “Yes.”

  “What should I do?” I can’t believe I asked her. But she knows Leo. I need to know what else I need to do to get him back.

  She laughs, “Paige, I’m sorry to tell you this but getting Leo back is near impossible.”

  “Why is that?”

  “The last person who left Leo when he wanted them, is still trying to earn his trust back. And the only reason this person is still in his life is because it is his father.”

  “I’m in the same category as his father.” I know how Leo feels about his father. I have no clue what else happened, but it had to be big for his mother to say that.

  “Paige, you are in no category. You hurt my son and there is no turning back from that disappointment.”

  “I didn’t mean to hurt him.”

  “I find that hard to believe. You and I both know where things were going with him. William and I both saw at the cabin. My son wasn’t the Leo I knew, he was in love.”

  Her words sting but cause my emotions to run wild. Why is she continuing to talk to me? She is even being sincere about it. I am confused.

  “Why are you telling me this?”

  “You need to know. But, Paige, I will give a little bit of information. Leo will be at the fundraiser. It is up to you how you want to handle that.”

  “Okay.”

  “Again, thank you for setting this up with your mother. I can’t tell you enough how grateful I am of you for doing this. It means the world to us to have a survivor talk. It gives hope to many.”

  It wasn’t a talk that I was planning on having with her but I am glad I did. I am not missing this event for two reasons, my mother speaking and to see Leo.

  Chapter 10

  It is the day of the event. I’m a nervous wreck. I will be seeing Leo and talking with his family. It will be hard to ignore any conversation when my mother is the guest speaker. I know my mother is going to rock her speech. I know I have been so hard on her for not being around the last several years, but after reading her book and tapping into her mind, I have under-estimated her. She was not only finding herself again but she was grieving my father. This is just how she dealt with it. She couldn’t be in our home because everything reminded her of my father. Losing a parent is hard, but losing your soul mate is unbearable. I can’t imagine the one person you were supposed to live the rest of your life with being taking away instantly.

  My sister, her family, Ricardo, my mother, and myself are ushered to our table near the front of the stage in this larger than normal ballroom. The lights are dimmed and piano music is playing in the backgrou
nd. Dinner is about to be served. But first, spinach, feta, and cranberry salad, and minestrone soup are served prior to the main course. Dinner is medium-rare prime rib with basil-seasoned roasted potatoes and almond-bacon green beans. It is tasty but nothing like what my mother could make. But when you are cooking for mass quantities, you can’t expect 5-star gourmet cooking. I bet if the chef knew my mother and her boyfriend were in the crowd, they would be very concerned. But I digress. During dinner, a silent auction is taking place. There is everything from sports packages to designer pursues. I have never seen anything quite like this before.

  A young woman dressed in a black pencil skirt and white top with black tie comes over to my mother to advise her that she will be speaking soon. After introductions, she will be up to speak. I watch as my mother politely smiles at the young woman. My mother pats her mouth with her auburn napkin and whispers something to Ricardo. They smile at each other. Who knows what they are discussing, but it makes me smile just knowing they are happy.

  The lights flicker, warning individuals the ceremony is about to start. I skim the crowd to see if I can find Leo. I spot Del and Greg sitting at the same table as William and Gwendolyn. However, there is no Leo. He has to be here. This is his mother’s big fundraiser. I hope he didn’t not come because of me.

  Stop it, Paige. Using girl logic again.

  The ceremony is ready to begin when Gwendolyn Andersen walks up to the stage. She looks elegant as always. Her silverish-blond hair is pulled back into a tight bun. Her dress is all business with a splash of fun, forest green with a pink thin belt around her tiny waist. She says hello and discusses the importance of this fundraiser and why it is so important to her. She tells the story of her mother dying of a broken heart. She was an orphan because there was no help for her mother. My heart crashes again hearing her story. It is as if Gwen and I have a bond with losing a parent then losing a parent mentally. The only difference is her mother’s mental capacity took over in grief and she ended her life. It is so tragic.