All I Wanna Do (Hell's Phoenix MC Series Book 1) Read online

  It has been almost five years and no pussy has compared to that one night with her. I know it might sound pathetic that I still think about that one girl, but she left her mark on me. It would have never worked anyway. I was leaving for Germany shortly after. But a few more days of banging the hell out of her would have been fantastic. She wrote me a note, compared her experience with me to a song, and disappeared from my life. Maybe it was the fixation of her leaving me, instead of me kicking her out of bed. She was bold and that was a bold move. Anyway, I will never see her again.

  The girl from last night is trying to spoon me. I am having none of that. I demand, “You need to get dressed and get going.” I get up from underneath the covers and start to dress myself.

  The naked brunette asks, “So, morning sex is out of the question?”

  “Nope. I need to get home and get ready for work.”

  She looks around. “This isn’t your home?”

  I laugh, “You really think I would take you to my home. You’re just another girl I wanted to fuck.”

  “Are you for real?”

  “Get yourself dressed and see your way out.”

  The poor girl looks like she is going to cry. What does she expect coming into a biker bar, flirting with a biker, and then groping a biker? Plus, I have no clue what her name is. I watch as she gets out of bed, gets dressed, and walks out of the room in silence. Yeah, it was an asshole thing to do but I wasn’t planning on having any kind of relationship with her. I saved her the worry if I was going to call her.

  I walk out to the kitchen of our compound and Ajax is preparing breakfast. He looks up at me, nods and laughs.

  I squint my eyes and ask, “What?”

  “Another notch on the old bed and out goes a destroyed woman.”

  “I didn’t destroy her.”

  “She didn’t look too happy.”

  “What about her friend?”

  He chuckles, “She is waiting in the car.”

  “You’re a dick. You made her wait out in the car.”

  “I was done with her.”

  I shake my head at him. “What are you making?”

  “Protein packed scrambled eggs. Don’t even think about trying to steal my eggs. I’m putting green pepper in them, anyway.”

  “Yuck.”

  “Ralphie is needing some help at the shop today. You think you can stop by and help.” Ajax changes the topic from hoes to bros.

  “What is going on that he needs help from both of us?”

  “Probably something he has going on with his woman. He did that last time she had a night off from her grandson.”

  I look at him confused. “How do you know this stuff?”

  “You know it doesn’t hurt to have a conversation with your president about his old lady.”

  “When did we start doing this?”

  He chuckles, “Bro, when you notice your father of the club is acting different.”

  “He seems the same to me.”

  “Whatever.”

  Our conversation ends there. I drink some coffee before I get on my bike and hit the road to my house. I guess I will stop by later and see what I can do to help. Maybe I can witness the change in Ralphie. Who the fuck knows?

  Chapter 3

  Hayden

  My sleep was restless. I rub my face with my hands, hoping it will help with the grogginess. This is the part about working nights that I can’t stand. Waking up early, so I can sleep tonight. I crawl out of bed and turn the alarm clock off. It was due to go off again and the noise drives me absolutely crazy. I go over to my closet and pull out one of my colorful blouses. Then I grab a pair of frayed jeans. I get dressed and drag my ass out to the living room. I need to really wake up before I get Charlie. He cannot have his mother in a zombie-like haze. I head to the kitchen, hoping there is an energy drink in the refrigerator. Sometimes, my mother will put one in there for days like today.

  I look in the fridge and sure enough, there is a small, shiny can with wings. I crack it open and take a swig of the sweet energy. I look at my cell phone to see if my mother texted me the address to get Charlie. Sure enough, it is there. I grab my keys and head out to my car.

  James

  My motorcycle grumbles as I pull up to Ralphie’s custom bike shop. I ride my bike toward the back of the building where the compound is and our personal bike spots. I pull into my spot and look around. The air is still and peaceful. But I have this overwhelming sensation that things will be far from serene. I have not had this kind of feeling since my days in the service. It is as if my life is going to change. I am not liking this one bit.

  I get off my bike and head into Ralphie’s shop. The door chime clinks as I open the door to see a middle aged knockout behind the counter. She smiles, “Good afternoon. How can I help you today?”

  I chuckle, “Hey. I’m James. I’m here to help Ralphie today.”

  “Oh my goodness,” she squeals like a teenage girl. She comes around the counter ready to attack me. I am okay with that. Ralphie knows how to pick them, for sure. She wraps her long skinny arms around me. She repeats, “Oh my goodness, it is so nice to finally meet you.”

  She pulls away, allowing me to get a good glimpse of her body. She is little, like five foot two inches and petite yet solid. Ralphie’s old lady starts to fiddle with a strand of her long brown hair. I grin, “You must be Ralphie’s lady?”

  Her eyes flutter as she smirks, “Yeah, I am. Let me introduce myself, I am Priscilla. But you can call me Cilla. Ralphie talks so highly of you.”

  “That’s good, I guess. Well, he is like a father to me.”

  Behind the counter, a faint, child-like voice muffles, “Grandma.”

  Cilla looks over the counter and says, “Oh, Charlie. Come here and meet Uncle James.” She looks at me. “Is that okay?”

  I shake my head at the fact that we do not even know each other, and she is having her grandson call me Uncle James. I guess she is family now. I answer, “Sure.”

  A little boy pops up from behind the counter and grins. He runs over to his grandmother and hugs her legs. He mumbles, “Hi.”

  I am taken aback for a minute. This little boy looks familiar. Like I have met him before. The boy has some seriously deep, big, brown eyes. His hair is as dark as mine. That unusual feeling I had outside is back in full force. I squat down, coming face to face with this child. I welcome him, “Hey, Charlie. You having fun with your grandma at the bike shop?”

  “Yep. My mom is coming.”

  It is random but sometimes children say random things. I ask, “How old are you, Charlie?”

  He lifts up his little hand and raises four fingers. “I’m four.”

  “Cool.”

  This is starting to creep me out. I need to know where I have seen this kid. This is the first time I have met Cilla, so it is not through her. Ralphie would never watch someone else’s kid unless they were in dire need. He is not much of a kid kind of guy. That is another strange thing. He allowed Cilla to have her grandson here. Ralphie must have it bad for this woman. I say, “Well, Charlie, it was nice to meet you. Maybe later I can show you a bike that we are working on.”

  “Okay. Can you show my mommy too?”

  I laugh, “Why not?” This kid is awfully attached to his mother. Charlie goes behind the counter to continue playing with whatever he was playing with.

  I started to mosey over to the shop entrance, when Cilla stops me. She states, “I know he keeps talking about his mother. His father is not in the picture.”

  Poor kid. I know the feeling of having an abandoned father. It is so fucked up. I never could understand how someone can up and leave their own flesh and blood. I smile, “It is okay. But he will have plenty of father figures here.”

  “Oh, James. That is so sweet of you.”

  “Yeah, well… I need to help Ralphie.”

  The door chime clinks again. Both Cilla and I turn to face the entrance. Then my mind is blown. It is her. Hayden. The one woman I
considered letting ride bitch on my bike. She is just as beautiful as she was almost five years ago. She takes off her aviator sunglasses and our eyes lock in on each other.

  Cilla says, “Hey, honey. You’re here early.”

  Wait. What? I look at Cilla and then back at Hayden. Holy shit, Hays is almost a spitting image of her mother. This cannot be happening right now. Cilla’s daughter is Hayden. Charlie comes running from the behind the counter once more. He screeches, “Mommy.”

  He runs to his mother and hugs her legs now. I am so confused right now. Hayden has not said one word. She continues to stare at me.

  Cilla interrupts my train of thought, “Hayden, I know he is a looker, but honey, can you at least say hi to James.”

  She mumbles, “Hi.”

  I look down at Charlie and then it hits me. Charlie is four years old. I fucked his mother almost five years ago. The math. It adds up. Fuck me!

  The look on Hayden’s face explains it all. She is just as stunned as me.

  Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

  I am Charlie’s deadbeat father.

  Chapter 4

  Hayden

  Holy mother fucking God. This is so not happening right now. It is him. James. He is talking to my mother. He just saw his son. I am speechless. The look on his face is stunned. He keeps looking at Charlie and then me. You know he is trying to put two and two together. Almost five years ago, he got me pregnant. I have no clue what to do right now. No clue what to say to him.

  My mother looks at me and says, “Hayden, you are being rude. Introduce yourself to James. He is one of Ralphie’s boys.”

  Ralphie’s boys?

  I look at him and say, “Um. Yeah.”

  James’ eyebrows furrow. He interrupts, “Cilla, we know each other.”

  Now, it is my mother’s turn to play confused. She asks, “How do you two know each other?”

  James again, “I fucked your daughter almost five years ago.”

  “Excuse me, what?” She looks at all of us, including Charlie. I swear I can see the wheels turning in her head.

  A door creaks and in comes an older, semi-built silver fox. He greets us, “Hey, everybody. Cilla, this has to be your daughter. Damn, I see where she gets her looks from, babe.” He reaches out his hand and says, “Nice to finally meet you. Your mom constantly talks about you and Charlie.”

  I shake his hand and reply, “Hi, Ralphie. It is nice to meet you, finally.”

  My mother interrupts this awkward moment with another awkward moment. She looks at James and raises her voice, “You fucked my daughter?”

  I complain, “Mom.”

  Ralphie’s head turns to James, then me. His eyes move down toward Charlie who is witnessing this absolute mess of a situation. He looks back at James and comments, “Wow, I swear Charlie could be a younger version of you.”

  “I’m seeing that,” he speaks with harshness in his voice. His dark brown eyes, the same as Charlie’s, are staring back at me.

  I need to say something here. I apologize, “I’m sorry. I tried to find…”

  “Not hard enough,” his voice getting more stern.

  Ralphie butts in, “James, you were in the Army then. How was she supposed to find you?”

  Well, it is all on the table now.

  James looks at Ralphie, he responds, “She knew what club I was in.”

  My turn to defend myself. I advocate, “I was inebriated.”

  This perks my mother’s interest, she defends, “You took advantage of my daughter!”

  James turns his attention to my mother and rebuttals, “She came on to me.”

  Ralphie mediates, “Okay, it doesn’t matter if she looked for you or not. Or she came on to you. Son, the important thing here is Charlie. And he is watching this whole thing.”

  We all look down at Charlie, whose eyes are bugging out.

  Shit!

  Ralphie continues, “Cilla, how about we take Charlie to look at some of the bikes while these two talk.”

  My mother grabs Charlie’s hand and says, “Follow me. Ralphie wants to show you some of the bikes he is working on.”

  She looks at me with concern on her face. I mouth to her that I will be fine.

  We wait for them to leave before shit hits the fan. This is a disaster.

  James

  We watch as they walk through the shop door and out to the garage. I am trying my fucking best not to blow up right now. In my opinion, she could have tried harder to find me. Fuck, that boy has grown up without a father for four and half years. I hope she isn’t as loose as she was when I fucked her. My son doesn’t need to see multiple men walk in and out the door. It is enough to screw up a child. Shit, I experienced it myself. And I am not going to allow him to experience it either. Anger is starting to boil over, I look at her and demand, “Were you ever going to tell Charlie about his father? Or better yet, what did you tell him about his father?”

  She looks down. I am assuming she is ashamed of herself.

  Fuck. He is growing up without a father.

  I command, “You need to answer me right now.”

  Hayden looks up at me, exposing her tearing eyes. She answers, “I tried. Honestly, I tried. Then, I stopped.”

  “Why?”

  “Charlie!”

  “Don’t you dare blame him. What did you tell him about his father?”

  “James, you need to understand. He is my main focus.”

  “He needs a father.”

  “I understand that.”

  “What did you tell him?”

  She sighs, “I told him nothing. He has never asked.”

  Talk about a sucker punch to the gut. He has never asked about his father. He has to have friends who have fathers. Why hasn’t he asked? Is there another man filling in the void?

  “What do you mean, he hasn’t asked?”

  Her chest rises as she takes another deep breath. “Don’t worry about it. Let’s just focus on the fact that you are here now. Charlie will finally meet his father.” She pauses, “I need to sit down.” Her breathing becomes rapid with anxiety. She walks over to one of the beat up chairs in the waiting room and sits. Her delicate hands cover her face as if she is trying to hide her pain.

  She sighs, “This is a mess.”

  I stroll and sit next to her. “Will he accept me?”

  Her head lifts from her hands. “I don’t know why not. Do you want to be a part of his life?”

  I can’t believe she just asked that. “Of course, I want to be a part of his life. He is my son. I have missed four years already. I don’t want to miss anymore.”

  Tears stream down her cheeks. “I am happy to hear that. I just don’t know how to explain this to him. He will be confused.”

  My hand rests on her bony shoulder. “We can together.”

  Her deep brown eyes look up into mine. She is exactly how I remember her from several years ago. Beautiful.

  “Thanks. That means a lot. We can’t do this here. It is just too odd. I need to talk to him before you see him again. Is that okay?”

  “Whatever we need to do to make this easy for him.”

  He is still looking at me with water glazed eyes. “James, I’m sorry you had to find out like this. Please know it was not my intention. I always wanted you to know.”

  “Okay. How are we doing this?”

  Hayden grabs her purse and digs in it. She grabs a paper and pen and writes a number down. She looks at me and says, “This is my cell. Call me later tonight. We can discuss details.”

  “Okay! Sounds like a plan.”

  “I need to get Charlie and prepare him for this.” She gets up from the chair and heads to the shop door.

  My mind is going a mile a minute. I cannot believe I am a father. Then, there is Hayden. From time to time, I would think about our night together. She definitely left her mark on me. Clearly, I gave her more than a mark. She was and still is the sexiest woman I have laid my eyes on. But this little situation is not what I hoped for if I
was to run into her again. There is a lot of pain behind her eyes. I have no clue why, but I will find out.

  Chapter 5

  Hayden

  Cleaning up after dinner, my nerves are ready to burst beneath the skin. James is part of the same club as Ralphie. I thought I would never see him again. And there he was, talking to my son, his son, our son. This is a huge mess that I need to clean up. Charlie has never really brought up why his father is not around. No male figure in his life. Well, except for Richard. The whole thing with Richard is different, though. Richard likes Charlie, but I don’t see love there yet. I think it will come over time. Charlie, on the other hand, could care less about Richard. I know Charlie is only four, but Richard and he go through the motions when they are together. I love Richard and he loves me, but it bothers me that they do not mesh well. When Richard is at the house, Charlie says hi and heads to his room to play with his trucks. It is weird.

  However, Charlie now has a father. A man he has never met before. A man who is ready, for now, to step in and be his father. James is no longer a sperm donor. It was nice to hear that James wanted to be a part of Charlie’s life. There was no hesitation with him. He manned up and said we will do this together. We are a team with Charlie’s best interest. I just hope he stands by his word of being a father. My biggest fear is that I will introduce Charlie to his father and in a few months, he will abandon Charlie. I really shouldn’t think like that. I do not know James and his personality.

  My memories of him are still vivid imprints in my brain. I know I was drunk that night but the way he fucked me was truly the best I have ever had. He hit all the right spots. He took my banter well. It was as if we clicked. To see him today, he looks as gorgeous as he did four and half years ago. Except he has filled out more and has more artwork. He is a statue of sex. My body shivers in temptation. A feeling I haven’t felt in some time. Not even with Richard.